Adoption Journal

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Why Me?

This is the second saddest day of my life. Today, they told us that our baby is very sick in Russia. He has been having seizures and he likely has a very bad case of Cerebral Pulsy. We will not be adopting him. I am so sad. I am so sad to think that no one will love the baby that I wanted. Even if we wanted to, we may not be allowed to bring him here. My heart just breaks. How will I deal with his birthday, on August 7? How will I live knowing that I left him in Russia without parents to love him, when I already love him? I think my heart has literally broken. As if we had not suffered enough. When will we find some more happiness??

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