Adoption Journal

Florida!

2007-03-18T06:22:00.000-07:00

We had an amazing vacation in Florida. The weather was fantastic and the kids enjoyed the pool and the ocean.

Tests are Negative

2007-03-18T05:51:00.000-07:00

The tests are all negative. There is nothing that they can find wrong with Andrew. Now, we are trying to "fatten him up!". I have to add butter and cream to all of his food. Lets hope this works!

Never a dull moment

2007-02-06T09:39:00.000-08:00

Why? Why can't I have a dull moment? I am so hoping for a day with no drama. After bringing Andrew home, I was truly hoping for at least a few weeks without the drama.

Andrew is not gaining any weight. He is 18.5 lbs at 22 months...same as he was at 17 months when we brought him home. The doctor is very concerned. He is testing him for Celiac Disease and Cystic Fibrosis. He is so active it is hard to imagine that he is a sick child, but the doctor was clear that there are only a few things that cause failure to thrive....and since he eats all day long, he is worried that it is due to a serious disorder. I asked if it was possible it was a parasite- and he said no. I said "Is it something more serious?". He said "yes". So, now we wait for the test results.

No, never a dull moment.

This has nothing to do with my adoption!

2007-01-22T17:58:00.000-08:00

OMG....How cute is Rob Lowe? Yes, I adore him. He is so great on Brothers and Sisters, I wanted to jump into that closet with him. I have loved him since I was a kid, and I think he is even better looking now. I would have given anything to get into that closet with him. Lucky Calista Flockhart.

Just had to get that off my chest.

(I think Marty was a little miffed by my complete and utter love for Rob Lowe last night. I just could not stop talking about how cute he is! Sorry, Marty!)

Why do I stay up late?

2007-01-21T16:41:00.001-08:00

I am not sure! We had our friends over for dinner last night with their kids. They stayed until about 11, and Adam stayed up that late. All is great....until we have to get up the next morning. Why doesn't someone remind me (as I am opening the new bottle of wine) that I will not feel like waking up at 7 am with the kids tomorrow! Not to mention the fact that since both boys went to bed late last night, they were both miserable all day. (Andrew has been miserable all week, too!).

It sure was nice to hang out with adults all night, and have the kids occupied by each other.

Why do I stay up late?

2007-01-21T16:41:00.000-08:00

I wrote this in September- it is called the Story of Andrew Part 2

2007-01-09T18:23:00.000-08:00

Why Only Part 2? Well, there is a part one about our first trip, but it is on my old hard drive- which crashed over the summer.

Here is the story......
The Story of Andrew- Part 2! (written September 28, 2006)

As I type this, my sweet (and very precocious) little boy is sleeping in his room. Today I took him to his first class, which I have been waiting years to do. I have dreamt of being the mom taking my little boy to the mom and baby programs, again, and my dream has finally come true. Here is how the rest of the dream was fulfilled:

We flew back to Russia on August 25th, 2006. We had a great flight on business class! We were met in Moscow by Sergey (whom we do NOT like) and were driven across Moscow to Domodedovo, the other airport. We had to wait for 6 hours in the airport. We ate pizza and walked around, but we managed on our own to get our tickets and seats without our interpreter, Sergey who had to go out that evening. The Kras Air flight was horrible. The person sitting behind Daddy was drunk and kept shaking our seats. He caused trouble the whole flight, and we could not wait to get off the plane, which was about 50 years old!

We were met in Krasnoyarsk by Alexi, our interpreter. We were pretty happy to see him. We went to the Kras hotel, checked in, and slept for a few hours. Then, Alexi picked us up and took us to the Dam. It was a nice drive through the mountains, and it was a beautiful view. On the lookout over the river, there are ribbons and locks all over. It is a tradition in Siberia for men to put a ribbon on a tree as far as he can from the lookout to prove his love to his wife on his wedding day.

We got to go and visit you the next day, which was Monday. You cried for a minute when the care-giver left, but then you let us play with you. You could now walk (started at 15 months), had tons of teeth, and would say ÂArf ArfÂ whenever you saw a dog! You still loved music and dancing and your favourite toy there was an Elmo piano (which I bought for you on e-bay when we were in Moscow).

The next day was the Tuesday, and we went to court. We were very lucky. Our court went very smoothly. Daddy was asked most of the questions, and I was only asked a few, but the judge was confused as to why I had anti-bodies for Hep A. She was very mean, but in the end, she gave us a positive result, and we were then your parents. That was August 29, 2006. We were really tired after the court, and went to the hotel and crashed!

We spent the rest of the time in Kras visiting you every day, and then visiting the ÂsitesÂ of Kras. We met some great people- Bill and Mariela, who were adopting a little boy named Nathan. We went bowling, we went walking, and we went to the Kras museum. We were there for 2 and a half weeks. We watched lots of dvds!

We got to pick you up on Saturday, the 9th of September. We took you out for a walk and visited the amusement park. You sat so nicely in your stroller and you were just fascinated. We had a hard time getting you down for your nap, and we ended up skipping it. You thought it was a huge fun game! We gave you a bath, and you loved it. You splashed and played and cried when we took you out. To get you to sleep, we had to leave the room! Otherwise, you would just keep jumping up and laughing and playing in your crib.

The next day was Sunday, and we were so excited b/c Rita and Marchello were arriving! We waited for them in the lobby of the hotel, and were thrilled that our friends had come.

We left Kras on the Tuesday (the day of Rita and MarchelloÂs court, which unfortunately was postponed for 2 days) and flew on the Kras air flight to Moscow. The flight was not too bad. You slept for a bit (we bought you your own seat) and then you played with a little girl. You hated sitting still and cried, but we got through it.

We stayed at the Aerotel the first night. We went for dinner and met a man in the elevator. His name was Oleg and he helped us get to the restaurant. He then showed up and gave you an entire box of chocolate. We found that pretty strange!! We ave no idea why he decided to give you a box of chocolates, especially since he had just met us, but it was such a wonderful act of kindness...

We visited LeninÂs tomb and Red Square and a huge toy store in Moscow. We got your visa and left on Friday morning for home. You were terrible on the flight to Frankfurt!! Slept for 5 minutes and then woke up screaming! It was a hard trip, but then we realized the man sitting next to us (Andrea) who was Italian, spoke Russian and he was very helpful. Daddy and I took turns holding you at the back of the plane when the food was out, because you wanted to eat it. But, you kept throwing up on me, so we would not let you!

We had a long delay in Frankfurt, and they lost our stroller. We went to the lounge, and you would not behave! You were so tired, and so were we. The woman who worked in the lounge was a complete bitch and told me to control you, and I gave it to her!!! Well, travelingelling so far, being so tried, being sick and being delayed for hours, she had it coming to her. Lets just say, that when we left the lounge and found out we were delayed for another hour, we had to find a new lounge to wait in, because I could not show my face there again.

The Air Canada flight was great! You slept beside me the whole time, and I slept too. You did not wake up until about 30 minutes before landing. I also slept and missed out on all of my biz class food and fun. They tried to wake me foMacadamiaadamia ice cream and fresh fruit, but I could not wake up. Lucky for me, you slept the whole time in my seat with me.

We were met at the airport by Baba and Yo. They were so excited. We could not wait to get home.

You slept really well, even on the first night. You are very defiant, and are learning now to listen to mommy and daddy! You hate to be told ÂnoÂ and at first would lie down and smack your head on the floor and kick and scream (which has been pretty freaky!!) You really like dogs, but are very afraid of Bailey! You like to play with the toys, especially ones that play music. You are affectionate and like to be picked up, but not really held. You hate to be restrained and love to run around.

Here is some of the Russian we learned so we could communicate with you:

Idi spud- go to sleep
Idi suda- come here
Niet- no
Spasiba- thank you
Charasho- Good
Ya tibya lublu- I love you
Ya tvaya mama- I am your mom
Ti Choshesh- do you want
Ya cha cho- I want

I even learned to read quite a bit of Russian. I am pretty impressed! Your daddy decided to spend his time learning the bad words, while I learned how to count to eight:

Adeen
Dva
Tree
Chitiri
Pet
Sheish
Sem
Vosem

This came in handy on the plane when I made up a song for you in Russian counting up to 4! It finally calmed you downÂ.

Your big brother Adam adores speaking to you in Russian. He is still adjusting to your arrival, but I know you guys will one day enjoy each other's company (I HOPE!!)

We are so happy to have you home.

Love, Mommy

Can't have a pic of the little one without the big one

2007-01-07T15:47:00.000-08:00

Adam just saw me post the picture of Andrew and wanted to know where his picture is. So, here it is, my adorable big boy!! It amazes me that he is already 5 (though he acts like his is 35!). Adam is an amazing reader and writer. He reads at above a grade 2 level. We are not exactly sure how "above" because they felt they did not have to test him further. He is sweet and loving (well, to everyone but his little brother, that is).

Adam will sit and cuddle with me on the couch for hours. As a mom, I have to say that nothing is more wonderful to me than being able to curl up on the couch with a blanket, a movie, and Adam.

It has been a while

2007-01-07T15:26:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am not the most responsible blogger in the world! I can't even remember the last time i updated. Before we went to get Andrew.

It has been 4 months since we brought Andrew home. A journey of ups and downs- laughing and lots of tears too.

Andrew has adjusted so well to his new life. He is a happy, fun-loving, crazy little boy. He never sits still. He adores playing with cars and anything Elmo.

I promise to do a better job using this blog and updating the ups and downs of my life in the house of males.

It has been forever since I posted!

2006-06-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a while since I posted in my blog.

We went to Russia! We met our son, Andrew! Born March 31, 2005, we visited during the last week of April, 2006. He is the sweetest little boy. And, I don't mind saying he is adorable.

We have been waiting for 8 weeks now to go back and get him. Our paperwork is with the courts. We should hear something in a week or two. We are hoping to travel the middle of July, so we can have him home in August. I bet we will be in Russia to celebrate our birthdays.

Short update, I know, but I am feeling blue and missing Andrew.

I don't even know what to say

2006-01-31T18:30:00.000-08:00

Today, Adoption Horizons got their accreditation back. Today, I was supposed to start the meds for my embryo transfer. Today. Today all I got was bad news. Today. All I want to do is cry. Today. I am not a step closer to realizing my dream. Today. I cry.

Do I call this an adoption journal anymore?

2005-11-07T09:15:00.000-08:00

Just when I think luck is going my way, I get hit again with my bad luck. I have a polyp that I am pretty sure will need to be removed before they let me do the embryo transfer. I called the doctor and was told that I could get an appt in JUNE. So, I cried, and got one on December 1. Adam's birthday.....Figures, any other day would be fine, but now I miss out on part of his birthday. The price I pay for another child. I hope Dr. B can schedule surgery ASAP, or I will be pretty upset.

Today is also supposed to be the day that there is news again on Russia and accreditations, but I am not holding out any hope at all. I feel like we are not even adopting, and we are only pursuing the embryos (or maybe our own baby after the surgery? DARE TO DREAM?)

Poor Adam is sick with a fever. My sweet little guy.

Things are moving....

2005-10-14T10:12:00.000-07:00

I had my blood tests today. I have found a lawyer (have to still call her) and I have spoken to the clinic in PA. Things are moving along. We could have those 4 embies defrosted and into my uterous in 6 weeks. Yesterday I walked by a maternity clothing store and kept thinking....."next year I WILL BE SHOPPING HERE". Not, I want to be, but I WILL be (especially since I have given away all my maternity clothes).

Can we do this in 6 weeks, YES WE CAN!

We have not mentioned anything to my parents yet, but we will soon. We are speaking to Sue and Matt tomorrow morning. Maybe after that.

Dare to dream?

Wow, it has been so long since I have been here

2005-10-10T18:39:00.000-07:00

It has been months since I have posted. It has been months since I have had anything to post. There is still no news on Russia. Our agency has no accreditation, and no hope of it coming anytime soon. We are looking into other options, but it is so hard. We are hoping that a couple from PA will donate their embryos to us, but I am still waiting to hear back again from them, after speaking with them 2 nights ago. I hate waiting. 3 years of waiting, is what I have been doing. I feel like I only wait, and cry. With a few good days thrown in.

I wonder when we are going to be getting those jumpy happy men.....Will I ever be pregnant again? Will I ever be able to adopt? When is our turn?

Wow, all this sadness, and I have not even had a glass of wine....just a box of chocolate. Stupid me, I am in the 2ww, and think it is bad to drink, even knowing that I am not pregnant and could never be on my own.

Sadness depart, leave gladness in my heart.

Nothing to report

2005-06-29T18:43:00.000-07:00

Nothing to report. There is no news. I feel like I will never be matched with another little baby. I feel like I will never have another little boy call me " mama". I feel sad, pathetic, and angry. I watch families and I see how happy they are, and I long for that. I know that I should feel happy that I have a wonderful son, but I cannot help but feel sad for the child I lost, the one I was unable to adopt, and the fact that I have to go through this pain.
I bumped into an old friend from high school that I have not seen in about 18 years. She has 2 kids. When ever I introduce Adam to people, they always ask "just the one?" or something like that. Sometimes I tell them we are adopting....sometimes not. Today, I did not. I want to go to Russia. I want to meet my little "Sammy". I want to bring him home and hold him and tell him how much I love and want him.

I want to be happy.....like I was a few weeks ago.

Why Me?

2005-06-09T19:29:00.000-07:00

This is the second saddest day of my life. Today, they told us that our baby is very sick in Russia. He has been having seizures and he likely has a very bad case of Cerebral Pulsy. We will not be adopting him. I am so sad. I am so sad to think that no one will love the baby that I wanted. Even if we wanted to, we may not be allowed to bring him here. My heart just breaks. How will I deal with his birthday, on August 7? How will I live knowing that I left him in Russia without parents to love him, when I already love him? I think my heart has literally broken. As if we had not suffered enough. When will we find some more happiness??

We love him already!

2005-05-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

What a ride. I thought getting the referral would be easy. It is not. When I took Sammy's medical to Doctor Simone, he was worried about the fact that he was born at 28-30 weeks. I am so afraid now. I called Tanya and Jason, to get some more information, but the truth is there is nothing we can do or check, until we go to Russia in July. The hard part is, I love him already. I want him....even if he is sick. I want to be his mommy. I want to take care of him. I do not want him to live in the orphanage. I want him home with me.

Ailbe died last week. He was a friend of ours from University. He was only 34, and he died of cancer. The funeral home was a block from Doctor Simone's office. I have never been to that part of the city, and I went there 4 times in one week. It reminded me how close life is to death. One person is taken away, and another is given. Our Sammy is our gift. I can't wait to enjoy it for the rest of my life.

TODAY IS THE DAY!

2005-05-03T13:41:00.001-07:00

In some bizzare twist of fate, I deleted this post. This was the happy day- the day I received the call that they had a baby for me. Little Igor was born on August 7, 2004. He is a preemie, and has black hair, and blue eyes. His parents gave him up because they could not afford to care for him.

This was a happy day....today, as I repost this information, it is a sad day. We are not adopting that wonderful little boy. We will have to continue to wait.

May 3rd....my sister's birthday....the day I was so happy....and only six short weeks later, I am so sad again.

I want more kids- Now!

2005-04-19T18:32:00.000-07:00

Today I spent the morning at Adam's pre-school. It was so great. I just love being around the children. I am so happy with them. Playing, listening, singing, running. I just want to have more. I know I have to be patient, but it is hard. I am learning not to be jealous of others who have as many children as they want. I am doing better, but I want to be doing great. I want to get my "referral". I want to take a child home. I want to take 2, but one at a time! My neighbour just told me that her sister in law is pregnant with her 3rd and 4th. Twins. Their other children are under the age of 2. It amazes me that some people can so easily have children. It is such a foreign concept for me. I wonder what I take for granted, that I should not. My wonderful husband, my wonderful son, my loving parents. I try to make sure they are all aware of how important they are to me. I hope they understand.

My first entry

2005-04-06T08:57:00.000-07:00

We are waiting. Our paperwork is done. It is sent to Russia, and now we are just waiting for our match. The agency thinks we will not get one until June or July, but I am secretly hoping she is wrong, and it will be in May. I want to go NOW. I hate thinking that my son is waiting somewhere, and does not have the love of his parents and his big brother. Our paperwork was sent on March 15th..... The wait is hard, but I am trying to just put it in the back of my mind. Maybe it will go faster that way, but I doubt it.